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[Mar. 5th, 2011|08:39 pm] |
My mind is so full of different thoughts and feelings, I cant even organize them to write about, much less talk to anyone about. This has never happened. Its like a thorny rose bush in there.
Just one question sits on the outside of that scary mess... How do I become good enough? |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 1st, 2011|08:23 pm] |
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I'm deciding to give up on some of my dreams. They only make me miserable. Whatever happens happens. Maybe once reality actually becomes reality for me, the reality check wont hit as hard. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 18th, 2010|09:07 am] |
Once upon a time, there was a man and a women who were married. She was a beast and he was a beauty.he gave her beautiful daughters and a home and food and a car and money to live off. Then one day she was bored so she decided she wanted to do something else with her life and literally threw everything away.
The man moved in to his dads house temporarily. He had to do all that boring stuff like change the address on all his mail. He called places up one by one and told him his new address. One in particular, a credit card company, american express.
He got a new credit card sent to him at his new address. He used his credit card for things like gas and other daily expenses. Every month when he got the bill, he paid off the entire balance. This man hated debtmore than anything. His credit score was perfect, not a single bad mark.
One day, he went to best buy, he wanted to get a monitor for his computer. He chose one out and went to pay...his card was declined. Hmmm that's weird.
Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com |
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| Mother's Day 2009 |
[Aug. 7th, 2009|02:34 pm] |
Here is the Mother's Day video I made in May. It is arranged in the order that it flows on the dvd. Warning: we are all very weird.
( push )
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 30th, 2004|02:01 pm] |
| [ | im feeling |
| |  MADDD | ] |
my mom changes her last name so she changes the name on the caller id to. THAT makes me MADDDDDDD |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 22nd, 2004|02:05 pm] |
| [ | im feeling |
| |  determined | ] |
i will lose weight. im sick of being overweight. i want to be active & not just want to sit all the time. i dont want to see any buldges or anything when i look in the mirror. i dont want to have to feel uncomfortable when chris rubs my back.
here's the plan:
workout everyday. do SOMETHING besides just sitting around all day.
dont eat so much. just make sure that what i eat isnt in excess and grossly fat.
chris fell in love with me because i am beautiful. he loves me. i am beautiful inside and out. i need to take care of myself so that i can see him more. sometimes i dont want him to see me because im afraid he'll think im ugly. but he loves me. and i need to feel good about myself so that our relationship can grow and ill feel comfortable around him.
i want to feel comfortable around my family too. i feel ugly in front of them too.
at school i want to feel comfortable.
and even when im alone i feel uncomfortable.
i am going to lose weight.
one day at a time.
i will work out at Golds with mom & veronica tonight.
eliptical for 1 hour. & then do arms.
thats the plan.
today i ate:
chips
chile
tortilla
cheese |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 6th, 2004|12:00 am] |
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i love chris so much. |
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| wait.. im not done yet |
[Dec. 29th, 2003|01:40 pm] |
my neck hurts sooo bad.
alright, justin says mxpx is playing a show in january, and nobody knows about it. i gotta find out about it if it kills me. im on a mad search..
. : MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS : .
yes, i had to make some, and i will keep them and mark them off as i accomplish them. so here's my list so far..
1. Exercise faitfully ( and to add, i have to lose at least 50 pounds.. then i'll be hot..)
2. Eat right and no binging. (i always eat so much if i feel like i've eaten too much already. i eat too much)
3. Get a good job. (one where no retards work and one that pays good)
4. Learn how to snowboard. (i might this march, or at least next winter)
5. Buy a car (i dont know how i would without borrowing money.. my goal is to at LEAST buy the truck from my dad, and save my money for a new used black celica. the truck will do until then.)
6. Earn extra credits to graduate early. (i will not spend more than 2 more years at school. i will graduate early and i have to start earning the credits nwo)
7. Write a story (i've always wanted to write a good story and i started, but i need more inspiration)
8. Read the Bible (starting January 1st i will read the Bible in a year, and learn from it. i need to know whats in it!)
9. Try Atkins for a month. (if you dont have the extra carbs in your body, you burn fat faster, so maybe i'll do it for a month, and hopefull jump start my weight loss)
10. Go on a missions trip (must earn money though. we're going to the bahamas. gordon might go too. i have to go on a missions trip.)
11. Go to every youth activity (the big ones, like camp and convention, not like every single yac n snack!)
12. Save every youth booklet (the notes we take while he talks. its just the cool thing to do, collect them)
13. Make friends with a boy (sure i have some friends that are boys, but i want to hang out with a cool boy.. one that is maybe close to my age and is potential for my husband)
my neck hurts so bad. theres a huge kink in it. i cant even move my head.. but guess what? my mom has these huge lumps in her neck. its so gross.. i hope they're not tumors. that would be scary. my mouse is weird.. im not touching it.. and its moving up the screen by itself and its shaking.. weird.. okay bye my neck hurts and veronica doesnt help.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 7th, 2003|05:25 pm] |
FRIENDS ONLY.
CLICK TO REQUEST MY UPDATES.
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